We live in a world where weâ€™re scared of saying â€śNoâ€ť. We seem to think that weâ€™re invincible or have a fear of missing out if we donâ€™t say yes or even worse, that God wonâ€™t bless us because we didnâ€™t say yes to one thing. Actually, even worse than that, sometimes, we try and be God and be there for everyone!
Thank the Lord that, He gave us polar opposite words that give us permission to set boundaries in our lives so we can strategically say yes to things that fit, and no to the things that donâ€™t.
Today I am going to show you how and when to say â€śyesâ€ť & â€śnoâ€ť in the right places. There is no such thing as a graceful life if you say yes to everything.Â Instead, we must be strategic and learn to when to say â€śyesâ€ť and where to say â€ťnoâ€ť and not feel guilty about it.
I donâ€™t have kids, but trust me. Iâ€™ve been in a place where Iâ€™ve said yes to too many things. I was trying to be everything to everyone, because I am a people pleaser and I HATE letting people down. God has made it very clear to me that if I want to build an empire then I need to make use of the resources Heâ€™s given me, say no where things donâ€™t fit and try to be Him for other people.
I got to a point where I had people constantly messaging me throughout my day from dawn to dusk (even in the middle of the night), I had people calling, emailing, SMSâ€™ing. To the point where it was consuming my life and taking time away from my small, yet fragile, loving family.
I was also immensely busy trying to manage too many things in CWIB, while doing other stuff that made me a decent wage so I can support the family that my God has blessed me with. We have dreams and visions together of how weâ€™re going to do what we need to do on earth to be stewards of God. However, Iâ€™m still not super women. Iâ€™ve been there and done that. Itâ€™s not that fun!
Instead, I want to be a wonderful women, who has time for her family and for herself, so she can keep herself filled and alive with the spirit. Working yourself into the ground and not having good solid boundaries doesnâ€™t give you freedom. It strangulates you and leaves you feeling empty.
If youâ€™re a leader, in a leadership position in your business, NFP or ministry you must become best friends with this word called â€śBoundariesâ€ť and not be afraid to have them, use them, protect them and guard them with your life. People will cross them if you let them, they will swallow you up and spit you out. They donâ€™t know all behind the scenes, what youâ€™ve got on your plate, what spiritual things you might be battling all while trying to stay sane. They just need you right now!
Some want to know all about your life and will probe, youâ€™ll feel violated and exposed. Or youâ€™re over committing yourself because you keep saying yes to too many things, things that arenâ€™t bringing you any return.
Without boundaries, before you know it, youâ€™re waking up each morning completely exhausted, youâ€™re struggling to pull yourself out of bed and youâ€™re questioning why youâ€™re doing everything. Youâ€™re husband’s at you because his love tank is empty and youâ€™re wondering how the hell did I end up here, feeling like this?
Yes, this is my life I am sharing with you here, Iâ€™m sharing it with you now because this is one of the biggest lessons 2018 has brought me so far! Itâ€™s a lesson that every leader needs to hear if she wants to expand and itâ€™s something every women should have in place anyway.
So what things did I put in place when I reached a point of burnout and how did I overcome it.
1. Stick To The Program – I sat down with God and we went through what it was He actually asked me to do in CWIB? It was simple. Itâ€™s my hidden mission statement. â€śAll I want you to do is encourage women.â€ť
2. Letting Go – After I did that, I then went through everything in CWIB and asked myself if that is what I was doing and what that looked like. Does that mean I am a counsellor for people? No. Does that mean its ok for people to contact me when they want and expect a reply straight away? No. Does that mean I have to be everything to everyone? No. What does it mean? It means, I am not God, I am going to let God be God. Releasing that pressure that I put on myself to be everything to everyone, itâ€™s amazing when you do it.
3. Communicate your Boundaries â€“ Tell everyone who needs to know about them in a polite way that youâ€™ve decided to take a bit of a life change in how you run your life and that youâ€™re not going to be as accessible. Be firm with those boundaries and donâ€™t be afraid of offending people. Youâ€™re not here to please man but God. If youâ€™re burnt out and canâ€™t do what God has asked you to do then you youâ€™re going to be no good to God.
4. Say No When You Need To Say No â€“ Every time you get an opportunity head back to your Vision Mission and Values. If it doesnâ€™t line up or you need to balance your calendar out a little, itâ€™s ok to say, â€śI need to pass on this opportunity this time, but thank you so much for your kind offer.â€ť Donâ€™t feel guilty. Jesus didnâ€™t die for us to feel guilty and remember, you donâ€™t have to explain to people why youâ€™re saying no, just say no politely.
5. Protect â€“ Protect those boundaries youâ€™ve just put in place. The only person who is going to fight for them is you.
I encourage you, if youâ€™re at the place of burnout, head over to the episode notes and go through these steps one by one.
Ask God to show you what it is you Heâ€™s asked you to do in your business, stick to that and then work out a plan of how youâ€™re going to deal with the rest.
Protect yourself, itâ€™s ok to do that.
Founder Sarah-Jane Meeson was given a word to inspire women. Since then, Sarah-Jane dreamed about how she could inspire women and unite them together. She knew it was going to be for God and she knew she had a passion for business and just to see people thrive and be all that they can be: no matter what past theyâ€™ve had, no matter how much money or where they come from. Itâ€™s about them being the best person they can be for God and to help share their story of how God has worked through their life and business.
After chatting with a girlfriend and sitting on the idea for a while, God kept prompting her heart to bring this movement of women together. After some time, Sarah-Jane knew what she needed to do; she bitÂ the bullet and now here it is. Christian Women in Business â€“ a movement of Christian women pushing forward for God in their businesses … and itâ€™s great!